Bengalization

Before you read any further I would like you to know that Bengalis are one of the finest people I have ever met in my life. I really love them, but in my own special way.

There always exists a Bengalized version of everything that you come across. I don’t know why, but they certainly have an affinity with the English letters ‘B’ and ‘O’. They can always replace almost every letter with ‘B’. How? In their case, Vivek becomes Bibek, Verma becomes Borma, Vimal becomes Bimol and Vinay becomes Binoy. And most certainly ‘O’ is their most adorable vowel. They have the liberty to use it in place of the rest four. See, how they have transformed my Kajal into Kajol. And to summarize the two, Mr. Satyavrata Vardhan has become Mishtor Sotyabrota Bordhon. Moreover, this particular kind of dyslexia (I call it regiono-lexia) is not limited to human names only. They have Bengalized almost every animate or inanimate things also. The cute little paper punch is called Paonch, simple lunch becomes Laanch, Calcutta has become Kolkata and the very innocent Bhatinda has become Bhotinda.

Unfortunately these people have not got the enzymes to digest Chapattis.  One of my friends had to eat Chapattis and consequently he had to be admitted to a hospital, that too in emergency. And on the contrary, they have got some extra cellulose digesting enzymes which can digest even the rarest breed of rice ever known to mankind. No surprises that rice is the staple diet in Bengal. Besides, I am sure you are quite aware of the old joke that Bengalis don’t drink anything. They eat everything. Be it cold drink or bidi, it has to be eaten rather than drunk or smoked. Fish is also one of their favorite delicacies. Let me correct it. It’s actually fish curry as they proud fully call it Maacher Jhol. And yes, when I say curry it means curry only i.e. without any actual fish in it. The common practice is that they cook fish curry, and then they take out the fish pieces from it and store it safely to be used next time. And they relish rice with fish curry. Discussion of Bengal without discussing sweets will be totally unjust. Bengalis love sweets, so much so that they name their children as Mishty. Or for that matter may be Shonali, Monali, Roopali….really sweet.

Bengalis are the people who are really bad at fighting. It’s an amazing sight watching at two Bengalis having a hot argument. I am sure, you can just video record it, and telecast as a comedy serial. Bengalis are also a football crazy community. In fact they are crazy about anything that is round, be it Roshogulla, the football or the letter ‘O’, or may be something else. No wonder they have got a different category of ‘Bengali Beauties’ in almost every traditional Indian Internet sites.

This is becoming nasty now. Before you guys start burning my effigy, let me confess that Sourav Ganguly is my favorite cricketer and I would buy him even at the cost of my life.

All Izz Well....!

ALL IZZ WELL…!

Stress sometimes is not just, reaction per unit area of application of force.

Sometimes I do feel I could hide in some distant corner of this huge world, with no boss, no work and no mobile or internet. Where I can get food and water and that is all. No remorse   of the past and no planning for the future. And I get endless time to do what I love to do the most ...Dream. Just eat, dream and live.

But then this is real life!

Recently I have been talking to most of my friends over telephone. And one thing I found   common is that they are not happy. They are not satisfied with the job they have got after so much competition. Well they are unable to precisely figure it out, but certainly they are not happy. Flashback to few months ago...they could do anything to get a job.

Two things that keep coming constantly are Stress and Work Pressure, which are basically the same things. I have been reading Mr. Bhagat a lot these days and was really influenced.

And you will not believe at first that I have started staying really happy.

There are a few professional and a few personal things which cause stress. And the very first   demon that comes to my mind is Disappointment; not getting results as expected. And to fuel the disappointment we have Competency. Remember the ultimate lines of Virus....Life is a race.... and then....Life begins in murder....that's nature.....Bullshit!

Then comes frustration, and it may come for the smallest reasons. Oftentimes we are frustrated for reasons people might have a hearty laugh at. For example I get frustrated when I am unable to fetch something from a five feet tall rack. Then we all have to face at some or other point of time, the strongest demon called Unfairness. People with sugar daddies and sugar mummies, pedigree and beautiful faces take the credit for things they don't deserve. Regionalism, communalism, nepotism etc. have always been an integral part of India. I don't dream of an India without these. Then we have dysfunctional relationships and poor health adding to our woes.

These are the things that take the spark away from your lives. And you become an irritated, bitter and boring kind of person. You don't enjoy anything in life. Not good food, not beautiful movies, not soothing music, not the romantic weather, not good humor.....not even sexy woman!

Some of the guru mantras that I have realized in life may be helpful in killing stress. And the very first thing is self realization. You need to introspect and find out things that you really enjoy. Well it's easier said than done. Exact realization may take a second, a minute, a day or even a lifetime. And then be spontaneous and be yourself; whatever you are. My friend said an ultimate line for this. "Real pleasure lies in spontaneity, Planning leads to stress." Never plan too much for anything, because it is most certain that things will not go as planned; and you invite disappointment. I have often seen people overstressed and tensed on their holiday tour as they have over budgeted. The basic purpose of a holiday is spoiled then. Someday, wake up, pack your little bag and just move.....Trust me adventure gives you real fun. Well if things go well, it’s a bonus and if they don't you are not disappointed at least.

Second thing is expectations. Expect the worst in your life at times. When I was going for an interview, for some strange reasons I believed that I would be molested, abused, harassed and beaten there. And when the receptionist told me very politely that I was not selected; I was really happy. I have a friend who was stressed because he said, 'Why can't I fly? The birds can do it easily.' People find their strange reasons to stay stressed. You have to be satisfied with whatever you have. What if I can't fetch something from a five feet tall rack, I can cook delicious food. What if I am not as handsome as Shahrukh Khan, I have friends who love me more than they do to Shahrukh. We need to find our own strange reasons to stay happy.

Make small goals in life; however you are always free to dream big. Nothing disappoints more than failure of self promised goals. Besides achievement of goals, however small; always gives you pleasure. Try to enjoy little silly things in life. Sometimes do act like a child. (After all we are all children in the eyes of GOD). Remember happiness is just a state of mind. It has got nothing to do with success or failure or age or time. If you feel like hugging a stranger, go for it. (If she is a girl, better first ask for it). Do everything to your heart’s content. There was a time when I always used to stay frustrated because of my height. Then one fine morning I uploaded a picture of Rehan (read the great khali) in my computer, resized it and saved it, allowing a height of few inches only. And surprisingly that gave me pleasure. Sometimes just surprise yourself by doing things which you never think you could do. For example if you feel like flirting with a lady, just do it. Come on, nobody is going to judge your character based on that. And even if they do, just f**k it, you live only once.

Sometimes pamper yourself. Be selfish. Go to a spa. Enjoy your favorite food or music or movie. Go for shopping. And shop till you go bankrupt. Eat your favorite chocolate or ice cream. Remember every human being is a distinct individual and enjoying is not a sin at all.

Discover yourself from within. Might be you always wanted to be singer. So sing. The oneness of mind, body and soul is very necessary. May be you want to enjoy, but you have a headache. May be you are brimming with energy and you want to dance, but you fear about the tiles. Sometimes to overcome stress; maybe you just need to relax, stay calm, silent and completely in peace to rejuvenate. But you engage yourself in a suspense or horror or violent movie. Ultimately you re-stress yourself, worrying about the climax. So you need to peep within to know your soul’s exact wish.

Sometimes we are too obsessed for a successful career which many a times is the reason for most of our stress. Remember, you need a balanced successful life. In our primary school I was told, ‘Stomach full of food is not a balanced diet.’ Exactly. Only a successful career won’t give you happiness. You can’t enjoy a promotion on the day of your breakup.  You can’t enjoy a movie, if your back aches. Really, life is like that Marble Spoon race you had in your nursery class. Reaching the destination first; without the marble in the spoon is valueless. In our life also, our relationships and our health are like the marble. So if you are lucky enough to have a girlfriend, give her time, take her out for a shopping, pamper her and show her some love. Because, trust me, if she is not happy; you can’t be happy.

Last, but the most important thing is humor. Never let the humor within you ever fade away. Even if that means to having to listen to silly jokes. Or even if that sometimes means to making fun of yourself only. Go for it.

Whatever be the situation. Say….All Izz Well…..and move on.

All Izz Well……!